All mascara formulations are pretty much the same (wax and dye). The applicator is actually more important.

Honestly, this left me with more questions than answers. At the risk of dragging you into my existential mascara crisis, what about these:

• How many lashes is sparse?
• How long is a long lash or a short lash?
• How curly is a curly lash?
• Why can’t I just have normal lashes, like normal skin and normal hair?

You can read an article with less angst about wands here.

Every beauty editor ever not only condones but encourages you to use multiple wands and formulations in a single setting.

This was a huge disapointment for two reasons:

• Instead of testing three times I tested all the possible.

Ever beauty editor ever also advises that your mascara brand is less important than how you apply it (obviously wand dependant!).

Here’s what I picked up:

• Lightly powder your lashes before you begin – everything sticks better
• Many little strokes will give you the high fashion spidery look
• Slower, fewer strokes will give you the fluttery look
• Wait a few minutes before putting on a second coat 
• Wait until your mascara is completely dry if you need to get rid of clumps or want to comb out spidery-ness
• Spoolies are your friend when it comes to combing out lashes
• Eye-lash curlers are the work of Satan – avoid, avoid, avoid! (that’s just me not the editors).

I did find a tiny bit of smudging at the end of the when I wear two coats of Essence All Eyes On You. 

I looked up some tips but I haven’t tried them yet:

• Once your mascara is dry add a layer of eyebrow gel. I bought some of this on a whim, so I’ll test this hack soon.
• Use eyelid primer (I honestly don’t know what that is)
• Avoid putting on eye cream or cream-based eye shadows when you’re wearing mascara. This makes sense but hello…the SPF on the eyelids is more important. I guess that you could use setting spray or powder over your sunscreen?
• Use rice blotting paper – I’ve seen this at Dischem but never tried it
• Use waterproof mascara

I really expected to end this week with sanded down panda eyes but all of these mascaras were really easy to remove with my usual double cleanse routine (sun screen is also sleep unfriendly):

• At the moment I’m in love with
  Heimish Cleansing Balm. Take a scoop as big as about half your pinkie from the tub. Rub it between your hands and slather it onto your face, neck and chest 
• Massage it in. I gave my eyes a little extra attention and rubbed the blam downwards along the shaft of my eyelashes.
• It’s vital not to look in a mirror at this stage.
• I jump in the shower at this point and rinse off the blackish residue.
• For my second cleanse I’m currently,  in love with the  Heimish All Clean White Clay Foam I got in a K-Beauty starter pack. Use it in the way you’d use a normal water-based cleanser

I didn’t need any other makeup remover to hop into bed panda-free and fresh-faced.

An old school friend who lives in the UK immediately gave a definitive answer with the all time best mascara:  Dior Overcurl Mascara .

I’ve seen loads of rave reviews for this but I immediately hit 2 snags:

• It wasn’t easily locally available (I’d need to import it through Amazon)
• After shipping, duties and tax this came in at a whopping R767. Ouch

For those of you who are rich and/or living in the UK/US you can get it on Amazon.

P.S.Use the link above because it’s an affiliate link and I could get money from your order!).