In the first draft of this post I wrote “something is wrong when we have to look to our children to show us how to behave” but on rereading it I think perhaps that something is right. Or at least something right is coming into the world.
Read MoreFor all the books I’ve read and movies I’ve watched I am unprepared for the “afterwards-ness” I’m experiencing. Hollywood doesn’t tell us about what our heroes do the day after the universe is saved. I suppose scrubbing out the stains in a hero’s cape isn’t a story.
Read MoreThursday was Joshua’s memorial. It was, for me, a moment that counted. There were many, many people who got that but also – and this is why I feel like such a fool – many people who had sent me “anything you need” messages through the year that were missing.
Read MoreWe drove home from Durban on Thursday and I told Shannon that I didn’t like to think of Josh Resting in Peace. His reply to me was – of course he isn’t resting in peace. He is at the front. Causing trouble.
Read MoreI am sitting on “Joshua’s chair” in the corner of the lounger. Behind me the stacking doors are...
Read MoreHere are the details for Joshua’s memorial.
Read MoreYesterday I touched a dead body. I thought, “I can’t wait to tell Josh about this, he’ll be really curious”. Then I remembered it was his body.
Read More“Cardiac patients seem to notice all the risks in the world,” she said. “Often they end up being afraid to do things on their own. It robs them of their independence.”
Cancer, it seems is the same.
Read More“There’s a elephant sitting on my chest.” My words feel rushed and tangled. My tongue trips over the simplest of phrases. I’m having difficulty keeping the volume of my voice even.
Read MoreWhite hot, blistering rage charges through my blood vessels. It crystallises into glass-edged, diamond-hard glistening shards that leave my legs hot and anxious and restless. Air expands in my chest. I am puffed out and breathless at once. I lurch from my bed and twitch open the curtain.
Read More